Magic, Crystal, 8-ball with a side of palm-reading, please?

You communicate what is important to you.

Horoscopes are funny, little things.  I have four that come to my email every day.  I’m waiting for the day one says, “The stars have aligned and you will receive a publishing contract with the editor of your dreams today!  Get ready…”

Why not?  I’m supposed to meet the man of my dreams about once a week. 

I register for horoscopes not for a glimpse into my unknown future, but because I’m a writer.  I like the little nuggets of words that settle into my  subconscious.  Like today…” You communicate what is important to you.” 

Another one said, “The plans you carefully crafted may come to nothing, and because of this you realize they weren’t what you wanted anyway. You will begin to listen more closely to your heart’s desire. Where do you really want to go? What do you really want to do? Only you know what you feel deep inside. Listen!”

Welcome to my New Years Resolution.  To figure out what I want… while raising my son,  working full-time, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, laundry,  coaching a Destination Imagination team.  For fun, I just threw in a college algebra class and am planning to remodel my bathroom.

What I really want… is to write.  To lock myself in my house and really have the time to concentrate on my puzzles. Can you imagine how great I could be?  But life continues.  There’s snow to shovel, floors to scrub, appointments to make, texts to answer, social meetings to attend.  How does one figure out what they want?

I can’t even figure out what my character wants at the end of “Dolly”. It’s fiction.  I could pick anything.  I could send her to Africa in a hot air balloon and it wouldn’t matter because it’s not real.  I spend hours pouring over the end in my head.  The end just isn’t coming to me. Not yet.

I speak only for myself when I say this.  But here’s a thought…

Writers block is a personal block. I can’t figure out what Lisa wants, because I don’t know what I want. 

Crap.

Guess I’d better go meditate on what I want because the only thing I know is that I want to finish “Dolly”. See the conundrum?  Let the cycle begin again.

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About author A. Lynn

A. Lynn has enjoyed the craft of writing since she finished the songs in Barry Manilow's songs as a five year old, prancing around her grandparents rural farm. Her style has changed as she's grown up. In the past ten years, she's experimented until finding her style and voice. Now, she's ready to take an effort to share her stories with the world. amberlynnk@yahoo.com View all posts by author A. Lynn

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