Coming Home

I’m not going to write about writing tonight.  Not short stories.  Novels.  Or even F. Scott Fitzgerald.  This shall be a personal post because it’s my blog and I can. Right?

Good news in my world!  My son has returned from his summer visit with his father.  While I’m glad he had a good time, I’m ecstatic that life has resumed to our normal station of crazy, laughter is in my house again, and I’m a mom.  I love being a mom. If you knew my son, you’d understand why.  He’s just that amazing.  Since his return, we’ve discussed gaming, the debt ceiling, philosophies of life and psychology, and the price of mowing a lawn.  He tried to convince me that Jaz-rental is $99.00/per day.  I had to inform him that ownership dismisses any rental fees.

He’s been gone since June 15 on an adventure to North Carolina, leaving me childless and with too much time on my hands.  One could say that I’ve had an adventure of my own.  Or rollercoaster. Two months of ups and downs, doubts and dreams. Prepared a house for sale.  Taken a job offer.  Enrolled my son in another school.  Cleaned out 10 years of stuff.  I’ve dipped my toes into waters that I’d always watched with caution from the beach.  During the time, I learned some valuable lessons.

1. Life can get too big if you let it.  A house too big.  A yard too big.  Payments too big.  Pile of clothes too big.  Toys too big.  Plans too big.

2.  It is good to be alone with oneself.  After Jaz first left, I found myself running out the door to meet any friends I could find.  By the end, I shut off my phone and enjoyed my own company.  I found out that I’m pretty nice to be around.

3.  The future is coming.  Only six years until my only child spreads his wings and flaps into the great sky of life. (Don’t hold the cheesiness against me.) Then, I will be alone. I’ve begun thinking about what I want to do when that day comes.

4.  The past…well, it’s roadkill now.  There’s nothing you can do to save it.  Or resuscitate it.  Nor would I want to.  It’s time to let it lie.

5.  Change is good.   Stagnation leads to apathy, which is, in its own right, a kind of death.  Apathy leads people to settle for less than they deserve.  The only way to combat stagnation is change.  Sometimes, it’s small changes, like the curtains or hair color.  Sometimes, the only change that will break stagnation is full-on, bone breaking change.  Change…is good.

6.  Some changes are hard.  Especially when the change involves goodbyes.  Yet, there comes a time when you have to let go of what you’ve become accustomed to for the opportunity to find something better.

7.  As in the song “For Good” from Wicked says, “I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn.  And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return.”  This summer, I spent time with people that will always hold a place in my heart, because of who they are as well as what they reflected back to me.  I saw my future without change in them.  It pushed me harder to grow.

8.  Children are blessings.  It’s easy to take them for granted, only noticing when they do something wrong (like flushing an apple core down the new toilet).  There is more to parenting.  They can learn to beat themselves up and pay attention to every mistake they make.  Or they can learn to appreciate their joy.  The choice lies in the hand of the parent.  Besides, the benefits are pretty spectacular.

9.  It’s okay to love.  Even if someone never loves you back. Or there is no future in loving someone.  It’s still okay to love.

10.  Time passes too quick to waste.  Every minute spent on anger, resentment, bitterness, sorrow, shame, humiliation, fear, distrust, or control, is a wasted minute that you could have spent loving, laughing, confident, forgiving, proud, enthusiastic, capable, hope, and joy.  Remember that every minute you waste in negativity is no one’s minutes but your own.

11.  Continuation of number 11.  Time passes to quick to quick to not take chances.  As a good friend of my said, “Forget it!  Follow your dreams.  Abandon your woes.”  What do I have to lose?  Perhaps time.  I call it time well wasted.

So, with all that said, here’s to Jaz’s return!  See you all soon!

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About author A. Lynn

A. Lynn has enjoyed the craft of writing since she finished the songs in Barry Manilow's songs as a five year old, prancing around her grandparents rural farm. Her style has changed as she's grown up. In the past ten years, she's experimented until finding her style and voice. Now, she's ready to take an effort to share her stories with the world. amberlynnk@yahoo.com View all posts by author A. Lynn

One response to “Coming Home

  • serittel

    I could not agree more with your post, and I love the way you said it. I lose my own little ones (at least little for a while longer) every week for a couple days, and wonder how I will manage if/when I have to for longer, when I finally rid myself of the roof over our heads that is the last vestige of a much less peaceful life. I understand the value of being alone, but appreciate what you pointed out about others, as I am just learning the value of NOT being alone. You are a rockstar!

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