Courage to be Crazy

I stole this from a friend, who probably stole it from somewhere else.  But nothing sums it up better.  Be fearful of mediocrity. I could also post…

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

or

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

or

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ― Apple Inc.

I might be a little crazy. After a year of change, I’ve decided that it wasn’t enough.  Or I’m a glutton for chaos in my life, which is most likely true.  More than change or challenge, boredom scares the dickens out of me.

So, this week I began the daunting process of going back to school.  FAFSA filled out.  Application sent. It’s a never ending process.

When I first got here, to Janesville and in my job, I was pretty content working just enough to pay the bills and enjoying the easy life.  I should have known that it wouldn’t have contented me for long. I do love a little chaos and challenge in my life. I also like success.  But there was one thing that held me back from kicking aside the doors and marching to admissions.

My writing.

I went six weeks without during the play and the lapse was almost painful. I’ve been writing stories since before I could use a pencil, creating stories on the front porch of my grandparents farm-house. It’s almost meditative, disappearing into a trance only to wake an hour later with a page full of words that, when revised, could mean something. Maybe even someday, mean something to someone else.

It’s a dream, though perhaps a dream too far out of reach, one that I wasn’t ready to give up.  I’m still not ready to give it up.  And for the longest time, I’ve believed that getting a degree in anything else would be an admission of failure and acceptance that it is a dream I will never fulfill. I couldn’t foresee spending the next undetermined amount of years simply writing papers.

I can’t give up writing.  It’s as simple as that.  The mere thought makes me tear up.

And then, I had a brilliant idea.

In hindsight, my fears were futile.  All the conflict that has raged inside of me seems a tad melodramatic once I realized that one CAN have their cake and eat it too.  It’s one of those A-ha moments.  You know the kind, when you actually smack yourself in the forehead for being dolt-ish.

I’m going back to school.  But instead of giving up on writing to pursue a career in my current field, I will be pursuing a double major. One in the field that will allow me to pursue a career in my grasp.  And one to let me chase dreams. At the same time.  Duh!

Am I crazy?  Perhaps.  But I am, indeed, fearful of mediocrity. Maybe it takes a little crazy to achieve greatness. Risk to achieve success. Passion to achieve dreams. And courage to be crazy.

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About author A. Lynn

A. Lynn has enjoyed the craft of writing since she finished the songs in Barry Manilow's songs as a five year old, prancing around her grandparents rural farm. Her style has changed as she's grown up. In the past ten years, she's experimented until finding her style and voice. Now, she's ready to take an effort to share her stories with the world. amberlynnk@yahoo.com View all posts by author A. Lynn

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