“You know how writers are… they create themselves as they create their work. Or perhaps they create their work in order to create themselves.” ― Orson Scott Card
Perhaps the most difficult challenge that I’ve yet to learn is when to let go. Or perhaps it’s the how of letting go. I suspect is has a lot to do with growing up a military brat and having to let go of friendships long before they bloomed. So, I hold on to everyone I meet that touches my heart with such an iron grip that I often break them. Much of my writing is a process of learning to let go. Sometimes, I wish it were so simple to just write the story down and tuck it away for rereading when the wounds of goodbye are less tender. If I could perfect the process, I would.
So, I begin again with my novel, having mulled over the non-existent plot and figured out the loopholes. It is, primarily, a novel about letting go. Letting go of opinions, ideas, expectations, things, and love. Love being the hardest. Because I’m still learning the how of letting go of love. Being as I am, I just figure that I won’t ever have to really learn the how of that because I won’t ever let myself go there again.
How to let go of regret is another theme I plan to tackle. Those dodgy thoughts that run through your mind of people you’ve hurt or opportunities lost. Those moments when fear allowed you to push away chance that danced outside your door.
Perhaps Orson Scott Card had it right. Maybe writing is nothing more than a long journey to create a self out of the messes we make of our lives. It’s a good thought to have as I begin this novel. It gives me a goal to work towards. The only way to work toward a goal is to decide what outcome you want. Then, plan accordingly.
“. . . All artists’ work is autobiographical. Any writer’s work is a map of their psyche. You can really see what their concerns are, what their obsessions are, and what interests them.”
― Kim Addonizio
The craziest part about writing is that the best laid plans are usually thrown asunder by the end of the first draft and truth comes to light. If it’s written right. I’m off to begin a new journey of self-creation. I’ll check in with you soon.